November 20, 2008

Another cry of pain

Jo Rose, a 36-year-old donor-conceived woman, writes of her pain of not knowing who her biological father is. She asks a very good question:
It's not that I don't feel for people who have fertility issues. If people genuinely want to have a child and can't, that is tragic. But on the other hand, should you have a right to access somebody else's reproductive capacity without even knowing them, and with no thought for the identity of the human being who is produced?
She also points out the hypocritical double standard of donor conception:
One of the most upsetting things for me about the way I was brought into the world is the blatant double standard involved. My mother's need to have a genetic link to her child was valued, while my need to know, love and understand the father with whom I have a genetic link was not.
Thanks for speaking up, Jo Rose.


Val said...

So that drops me right back into my simmering soup of indecision: the moral/ethical dilemma of informing my friend's DC sons of their origin. [when she swore me to secrecy & hasn't even told her own mother!]

Anonymous said...

I'm an adoptee reunited for 35 years. I have been talking about and writing about donor-offspring since the early 1980s. I've been on your side all along -- and have made these very same points. the only difference is that I am not in your shoes exactly.

I feel for all of you.

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