January 19, 2007

A donor conceived man experiences long-suppressed grief

This is from the blog of Damian Adams, an Australian man who was conceived using donor sperm:
I used to feel grateful for my existence and even proud of being donor conceived. But now that my own children have opened my eyes, my mind and my heart to what was missing from my own life was I able to truly see what my origins had deprived me. Nothing can fix the sorrow I feel for my own loss and the loss experienced by other donor conceived children.
And in another place, Damian writes:
...The rights of the most vulnerable party, in this case the child, should always override those of the parents. In the instance of children, they have an inalienable right to know their biological father and mother. Yet many would be parents would like to believe they have a right to "have" children. I would strongly argue that no one has a right to have children. We are not some pet that you can bring home from a pet-shop and then "own". No one should use children to fulfill their own desires at the expense of the child. To be able to have children in your life is a privilege. Unfortunately it is not one that everyone can enjoy.


Anonymous said...

please see

it features a point from the UN's Convention On The Rights Of The Child as well as the donor-conceiveds' own websites.

Anonymous said...

I admit that I became interested in this subject now that gay marriage is on the table, which led me to investigate how Third World women's wombs are being exploited, and new technology to make same sex mating is under process, once again denying the child of their biological rights. As a woman who had children later in life, I rushed into marriage, and now am divorced. My clock was ticking and I didn't think it all the way through. As a result, my family has gone through much suffering. Infertility is heartbreaking and that I do understand. But I feel a need to say something here. Yes, becoming a mother brings maturity and growth as a person, but I would take that one step further, which is to be able to accept loss and know that sometimes life isn't always fair, is also a being growing step for people. I think it is selfish and self serving to think that your innate desires trump the needs of children. I will be looking for ways to get involved in this important issue in today's world.