January 31, 2007

Moms by choice, but not single by choice

There is a new fashion today in the repro tech world: single women who have decided to go ahead and have children despite their inability to find a suitable male mate, are now flocking to donor sperm and calling themselves "single moms by choice." I guess this is supposed to make them seem empowered and in control, as if their situation is really a "lifestyle choice". I guess it's even supposed to make them sound cool - they got what they wanted and they didn't need - or seemingly even want - a man.

The truth is though, that they aren't really single moms by choice. They did choose to be moms, but they aren't single by choice. They are, sadly, single because they have not found a life partner, despite longing for this.

A new article just came out about them here: http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2007/01/17/0118bctxsperm.html

In the article, one of these moms says: "I searched for Mr. Right, but could never find him, and I really wanted a child," she said. "I have never been the one to do things conventionally. So, while it was frightening, it was a no-brainer. I was going to have a child, and this seemed the best way."

Another one of the women says that her path was similar:
"For most women, having a child on their own is plan B," "In high school I dreamed of getting married and having kids," she said. "And I have not abandoned that idea. I have the rest of my life to find a husband, but I do not have the rest of my life to have a baby."

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