A single mom hopes that dads aren't important after all

January 18, 2007

A single mom hopes that dads aren't important after all

"I am a single mom by choice, and I had Molly using an anonymous donor from Northwest Andrology and Cryobank....I can only hope that Molly won't grow up feeling like something is missing from her life. I hope to be enough of a great mom to her that she will only feel loved, and not feel incomplete at not having two parents....I truly believe that if you are honest with your children from the very beginning, and focus on all the things that they DO have in their lives, that they will grow up to be healthy, happy adults who can accept, and hopefully embrace, the way they came to be. " --Sandi, the mother of a 2 1/2 year old donor-inseminated daughter

All that children need is...love, health, and honesty, right?

Wrong. Fathers exist in nature for a reason. The fact is, no matter how great a mom Sandi is, she will always be only that - a MOM. She can never replace a father, nor can she ever be a good enough substitute for two parents. It has nothing to do with the virtuosity of her parenting skills.

Nothing in the world can erase the fact that Sandi INTENTIONALLY, for her own selfish reasons, created a child that is completely and utterly deprived of its own biological father. And now, to add to the injustice, that poor child will inevitably be guilt-tripped into pretending that it really doesn't need, want or miss having a father at all.

It boggles the mind how people can mislead themselves in the quest to get and keep what they want, no matter how immoral. People can rip out a whole parent from the lives of children they supposedly love, and still delude themselves that they are doing everything right and providing the best for their children.

Sorry Sandi. If you are single, you were never supposed to have a baby in the first place, as cruel as that sounds. It's not always about YOU. Sometimes it's about someone else, and in this case, it was about your daughter, and her NATURAL RIGHT to two parents - to her OWN, biological parents. You did not have the right to take that away from her, and no matter how hard you try, you can never replace her father in her life.

So as much as you can say you are a "single mom by choice," in fact, that choice never belonged to you, and you had no right to make it.
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Stop the Baby Trade

Yes, it is a baby trade, like the slave trade of old. Babies have become consumer products, accessories to our lifestyles. They are like pets, those cute and cuddly babies. And like pets, they can be made to your liking. Just buy the sperm at your nearest sperm bank, purchase an egg from your local egg dealer, and rent a surrogate womb. And in 9 months, bring home a baby without a pregnancy, without even a dent in your schedule!

There is supply and there is demand. Babies are disposable: their value and worth depend on being "wanted". As embryos they can receive a life or death sentence based on a screening of their genetic traits. They can be frozen indefinitely, donated for research or simply killed. In the womb they can be "selectively reduced". They belong to whomever they were "intended" for.

Apparently, adults have a "right" to a baby. And before they are born, babies have no rights at all. They can be bought and sold, or traded from person to person.

Even after they are born, some of their natural rights are not recognized or respected. They had better not complain about not having their "natural" or biological parents. If they mind, they are ungrateful. After all, we cuddle them and spoil them and shower them with love - just like our pets.

Well, it's time to stop the baby trade. Infertility is tragic. So is being panhandled by your own genetic parents and being raised by biological strangers. So is being created in a laboratory only to be frozen as "surplus" or screened out and left to die because you are "unwanted".

Children have not consented to these things. Their own parents, their supposed protectors, have allowed these things to happen to them. Adults have selfishly allowed their reproductive urges to trample on the fundamental rights and needs of their own children. But now, as many of these children come of age and we hear their cries of pain, it is time to admit that what reproductive technologies have given to parents, they have also taken away from children.

Sometimes doing the right thing requires a lot of sacrifice. This is one of those times. We need to set aside our adult desires in order to protect children's rights. Let's see babies as human beings who are our equals. Let’s admit that we have no right to harm others to get what we want. Let’s stand up for those who don’t have a signature line on the consent forms, yet who will be forever affected by the decisions taken.

We will find that by protecting the weakest, we are also protecting ourselves. The rights of children are tied to the rights of adults. Children have a right to their own parents; and those parents also have a natural right to know and to educate their own biological children. These natural rights cannot be eliminated, only violated.

Let’s stand up for the natural human rights of children: their right to life from the moment of conception, their right to be carried in the womb of their own biological mother, and their right to know and be raised by their own biological parents.