January 18, 2007

A single mom hopes that dads aren't important after all

"I am a single mom by choice, and I had Molly using an anonymous donor from Northwest Andrology and Cryobank....I can only hope that Molly won't grow up feeling like something is missing from her life. I hope to be enough of a great mom to her that she will only feel loved, and not feel incomplete at not having two parents....I truly believe that if you are honest with your children from the very beginning, and focus on all the things that they DO have in their lives, that they will grow up to be healthy, happy adults who can accept, and hopefully embrace, the way they came to be. " --Sandi, the mother of a 2 1/2 year old donor-inseminated daughter
All that children need is...love, health, and honesty, right?

Wrong. Fathers exist in nature for a reason. The fact is, no matter how great a mom Sandi is, she will always be only that - a MOM. She can never replace a father, nor can she ever be a good enough substitute for two parents. It has nothing to do with the virtuosity of her parenting skills.

Nothing in the world can erase the fact that Sandi INTENTIONALLY, for her own selfish reasons, created a child that is completely and utterly deprived of its own biological father. And now, to add to the injustice, that poor child will inevitably be guilt-tripped into pretending that it really doesn't need, want or miss having a father at all.

It boggles the mind how people can mislead themselves in the quest to get and keep what they want, no matter how immoral. People can rip out a whole parent from the lives of children they supposedly love, and still delude themselves that they are doing everything right and providing the best for their children.

Sorry Sandi. If you are single, you were never supposed to have a baby in the first place, as cruel as that sounds. It's not always about YOU. Sometimes it's about someone else, and in this case, it was about your daughter, and her NATURAL RIGHT to two parents - to her OWN, biological parents. You did not have the right to take that away from her, and no matter how hard you try, you can never replace her father in her life.

So as much as you can say you are a "single mom by choice," in fact, that choice never belonged to you, and you had no right to make it.

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